WWIBD?, or What would I be doing?, is a thought literacy technique for thought management that helps you process thoughts and intentionally direct your thinking.
You can use it to:
- build emotional intelligence,
- stop “overthinking” or ruminating thoughts,
- use your thoughts to achieve goals,
- support personal growth, neuroplasticity, or developing a new identity
How WWIBD? works
Asking yourself WWIBD? encourages you to consider what you would be doing if you were focused on what you want or your goals instead of your current thoughts or situation.
The answer giving you a direction for your thinking, because once you know what you would be doing, you can consider what thoughts and actions will help you get there.
This shift in perspective also helps you separate yourself from any unhelpful thoughts and use your thoughts as a resource, encouraging you to identify thoughts that support your goals.
WWIBD? In action
WWIBD? Building emotional intelligence
WWIBD? helps you build emotional intelligence by encouraging you to think about how you want to respond to your emotions instead of automatically reacting to them.
- If you’re feeling depressed or sad: What would I be doing if I focused on what I need and can do instead of how I feel?
- If you’re upset with yourself: What would I be doing if I understood what thoughts are leading me to feel this way?
- If you’re angry: What would I be doing if I wanted to respond instead of react?
- If you’re feeling rejected: What would I be doing if I separated what I’m feeling from what I actually know?
- If you’re overwhelmed: What would I be doing if I focused on understanding what’s causing this feeling?
- If you’re jealous: What would I be doing if I treated this emotion as information instead of letting it make the decision for me?
By asking yourself WWIBD?, you reinforce your understanding of the thought-emotion connection, practice recognizing your emotions, and choose how you want to respond to them instead of automatically acting.
WWIBD? Repetitive thought
We all do embarrassing things, sometimes when our emotions get the best of us. These situations can stick and repeat in our minds. To process and manage the thoughts, you can ask yourself what you would be doing or what you wish you would have done.
- If I had a redo in this situation, what would I be doing?
- What would I be doing if I saw this as an opportunity to learn?
- If I focused on actions I could take instead of the situation, what would I be doing?
You can then reflect on how you would have ideally responded. This moves your perspective from what you regret to what insight you can gain, helping you to process the thought with the confidence that you can act more in alignment with your values if you’re in a similar situation in the future.
Sometimes unhelpful thinking gives you the feeling of forward momentum when you’re actually stuck. Asking yourself if there are any actions you can take helps you separate from your thoughts and identify what you can do to move forward. This can include apologizing, putting a time limit on how much you think about something, or working to accept what happened.
WWIBD? Working toward a goal
WWIBD? can also help when you’re working toward a goal by using your thoughts as a resource, instead of something that holds you back. For example, if you want to write a book but keep thinking about everything that could go wrong, you can ask:
- What would I be doing if I were focused on writing the book instead of worrying about if people will like it?
- If I were moving toward my goal today, what would I be doing?
- What would I be doing if I weren’t waiting until I felt completely ready?
The question shifts your focus from thinking about the goal to considering what pursuing the goal would actually be like, encouraging you to focus on achieving it.
WWIBD? Supporting personal growth
Besides individual goals, by asking yourself WWIBD?, you turn a desired way of thinking or behaving into something concrete. Instead of telling yourself to be less afraid, kinder to yourself, or more willing to take risks, you ask what you would actually be doing if you were already thinking like someone who already does those things.
For instance, if anxiety is leading you to avoid something, it can be helpful to take small steps toward it. You could turn that advice into a question: What would I be doing if I took small steps?
The same approach can be applied to other situations.
- If you’re nervous to start something: What would I be doing if I didn’t let fear make the decision for me?
- If you have a cruel inner voice: What would I be doing if I were kinder to myself?
- With perfectionism: What would I be doing if I started without needing it to be perfect?
The purpose isn’t to find the perfect answer but to identify what you would be doing if your thoughts were helpful and you were focused on what you wanted instead of fear or what you don’t want.
Getting started with WWIBD?
To get started you can focus on a time, either recent or in the past, that you were focused on what you didn’t want instead of what you wanted, and ask yourself, What would I be doing if I focused on what I want?
From there you can ask yourself what thoughts you would have that could help you get to what you want. The simple action of asking what thoughts will be helpful separates you from your thoughts and encourages you to use them as a resource, which will then improve your thought management skills.
This focus on what you want also encourages you to reduce reliance on external validation, build self-trust, and stay focused on your goals instead of getting sidetracked by unhelpful thoughts.
Let me know if you have any questions in the comments.
Thoughts?