The self-help industry is worth over $45 billion and keeps growing. Yet somehow, we’re more anxious, overwhelmed, and stuck than we’ve ever been.
It’s fair to say we’ve had enough of yoga in matching sets and organizers that promise to change our lives in an instant. And that it’s past time for something that actually helps us get where we want to go.
Thought modeling gets you closer to your goals than any product or mantra ever will, because it changes how you think, not just what you do.
And it’s not just another empty promise. It’s made by someone who’s been there, and its easily accessible and made with your success in mind. Here’s how it works.
What Is Thought Modeling
Thought modeling is using concrete examples of healthier thinking as templates (or “models”) for your own thought patterns.
Think of it like having a healthy role model, but for your thoughts.
So instead of being told to “be more confident” or “set better boundaries,” you see what confident people actually think in specific moments so you can model it.
And when you say “no” to set a boundary, you aren’t thinking like someone who is trying to create boundaries you’re thinking like someone who has them.
Someone trying to set boundaries thinks: I hope this doesn’t make them mad. Did I do it wrong?
Someone who has boundaries thinks: Saying yes when I mean no doesn’t keep the peace. It just teaches people my boundaries don’t matter.
Not only are you working toward your goals, you’re thinking like someone who’s already achieved them. This creates a positive loop: the right thoughts drive the right behaviors, which reinforce the right thoughts. It’s what keeps you from getting stuck so you can actually make progress.
How Thought Modeling Works
Thought modeling combines two basic psychological facts:
- Thoughts drive behavior
- Positive role models improve success
We all experience these facts even if we don’t realize it. Like when we see someone do a small act of kindness and it encourages us to do something kind as well. Or when we think “I can do this” and feel a hit of momentum. The act of kindness was a positive role model. The thought of “I can” was driving behavior.
Thought modeling takes these ideas and scales them strategically. It gives you role models for your thinking, not just your actions.
So instead of falling into the trap of thinking confident people are confident all the time, you would know that the internal dialogue of a confident person after they make a mistake isn’t “I got this, I’m always right.” It’s “I’ve overcome mistakes before. What can I learn from this?”
Because we can watch someone set boundaries all day, but we don’t hear the internal dialogue that made it possible. And without the thoughts that drive the behavior, it’s hard for us to model the behaviors we need for success.
Thought modeling makes that internal dialogue visible, and it’s not just for boundaries or confidence but for any goal or identity you want to embody.
If you want to be a successful CEO, you need to think like one. If you want to have healthy and secure relationships, you need to think like someone with secure attachment. You get the point.
Thought modeling is the foundation of any type of behavioral change or habit formation.
How to Get Started
Thought modeling shows you where to focus so you’re not just going through the motions, but actually becoming the person who gets the results you want.
People who achieve goals know that their thoughts are their greatest resource. While tactics like affirmations, meditation, and yoga can be helpful, the difference between those who succeed and those who don’t is that successful people prioritize the thoughts that drive their behavior
To think like someone who can achieve goals, the first thought model you need is this: “If I want a certain lifestyle, to be confident, or to have a certain measure of health, I need to think like someone who has that.”
If you want to know more about thought modeling, you can check out more articles here, the book series that teaches thought modeling here, and/or join the Thoughtstack to get notified of new posts and updates.
Join the Thoughtstack for updates and new posts