What Are Thought Swaps?

You have thousands of thoughts a day. And while your thoughts are here to help, not all of them are helpful.

For instance, it’s good to consider options, but it’s not helpful to think in extremes or assume the worst. And while it’s healthy to reflect on the past, you want to make sure you’re not getting stuck in rumination.

Most people don’t know (because they weren’t taught) that while you can’t stop your thoughts from happening, you can control how much energy and weight you give to specific ones.

And not only do you have this ability, it’s something you really want to focus on. Because when you prioritize healthy thoughts, life gets easier, you achieve your goals, and you feel more at peace.

Thought Swaps

Thought swaps are a simple tool that helps you replace unhelpful thoughts with more balanced and constructive ones.

Every thought swap™ has two parts:

Thought: the unhelpful or distorted thought that creates stress, doubt, or negativity.
Swap: the healthier, more accurate thought that brings balance and direction.

Sometimes, you’ll see thought swaps with specific labels like Overthinking → Grounded Thought or All-or-Nothing Thinking → Middle Think.

These labels are included depending on context and show the thought patterns involved, making it easier to recognize the thought habits being addressed.

How Thought Swaps Work

Thought swaps help you notice an unhelpful thought and replace it with one that moves you forward instead of holding you back.

They’re not about fake positivity or pretending everything’s fine. They’re pragmatic and help you choose to see things in a balanced way.

So instead of thinking, “I always mess this up,” a thought swap would be, “I’ve handled things like this before, I just need to slow down.”

And instead of thinking, “Everything is a mess,” a thought swap might be, “Things are tough right now, but there’s still good happening.”

The difference seems small, but it shifts your mindset from defeat to direction, and your focus from dead ends to actionable insights.

Examples

Thought swaps can be general:

• “I can’t handle this” → “I’ve handled difficult things before; I can handle this too.”
• “Everyone thinks I’m behind” → “I’m comparing myself to the wrong standard.”
• “This always goes wrong” → “This time, I can approach it differently.”

Or tailored to a particular challenge or goal:

Dating and Self-Worth
Amira keeps thinking, “I’ll never find someone who wants me.” After learning to thought swap, she changes it to, “The right connection takes time, and I’m becoming someone I’d want to be with.” The shift helps her date from confidence instead of fear.

Career and Uncertainty
Jordan worries, “AI is going to make my job irrelevant.” Through a thought swap, it becomes, “Technology is changing things, but I’m adaptable and capable of learning what’s next.” That small reframe sparks curiosity instead of panic.

Graduating and the Future
New college grad Maya, often thinks, “The job market is impossible; I’ll never get hired.” Her thought swap is, “It might take time, but every application helps me learn what fits best for me.” That perspective keeps her motivated and focused on progress.

Benefits of Thought Swaps

Over time, thought swaps train you to respond to your thoughts instead of reacting to them. You’ll notice unhealthy patterns that once slipped by and make sure your thoughts work for, not against, you.

Think of it as using your greatest resource—your mind—at its highest level. When you focus on healthier thoughts, you naturally prioritize growth over fear and abundance over scarcity.

Thought swaps help you with whatever goal you are focused on including:

• increase confidence
• build self-trust
• improve focus
• increase emotional intelligence
• reduce anxiety and stress
• develop stronger connections
• build self-advocacy and agency
• reduce the need for external validation
• improve mental health and problem-solving

How to Get Started

Life is different when the voice in your head sounds like a friend instead of a critic, and thought swaps help you build that kind of inner relationship.

Start by noticing where your thoughts create resistance instead of growth. Are there areas where your mind spirals or becomes overly negative? Do you say things to yourself that you wouldn’t say to a friend? What’s a healthier, alternative thought?